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Relaxing on the deck

August 1, 2016 / davamarie

Kristin took all of the kids to her parents’ house overnight. I’m sure that should feel delightfully relaxing, but I miss them like crazy. So just because, here’s a picture of the twins relaxing on the deck yesterday.

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When the sound and then sight of a passing train no longer pulls them away from whatever we’re doing and holds their attention until the very last car, I will miss it tremendously.

Two Saturdays ago I woke him up for karate and he was tired and not having it. He insisted that he didn’t want to do it any longer. I struggle with conversations like these for a few reasons: I deeply want my children to do something physical outside of school (not because I want to raise star athletes, but because I want exercise to be a part of life they’ve always known), because Jonah in particular can benefit a great deal from something that builds his coordination, and because I believe that sticking with something long enough to see yourself grow and improve and feel good about the results of your hard work is a wonderful way to build resilience. • • I didn’t stick with much, and I spent decades thinking that I didn’t really have any talent at anything (not realizing that it isn’t really about talent - it’s about practice). • • That morning I threatened to take away privileges (which I’m trying to stop doing), but ultimately I told him, “Fine, but YOU need to go to class today and tell your teacher that you are done.” Kristin took him, with difficulty, but he took the class. At the end he asked her if she’d told the teacher and she said, “No, you need to do that.” He told her that maybe he’d go to one more, or maybe two. • • This week he suddenly asked to start going three times a week instead of once, and tonight was his first evening class. When I picked him up and we walked to the car he said, “Karate is SO fun!” I could hardly believe it. He then admitted, “At my first class I was kind of embarrassed.” I told him that I still feel embarrassed when I go to class, maybe because I’m three months behind him, and I hope if I continue it will start to feel better the way it has for him. • • I’m so proud of his perseverance, but also proud that one way or another we’ve helped parent him to this place where he was empowered to make his own choice about this activity and seems proud of what he’s accomplished. We’ll see where it goes, but tonight it felt like a big win no matter what.

Two mornings ago she woke up early, put on one of the two princess dresses she’d carefully laid out on her floor the night before, and painted her nails over breakfast because apparently it was coronation day at preschool. She packed up the second dress along with an outfit for outdoor time because mom insisted. I’m told that there were multiple wardrobe changes throughout the day. •• Side note: I spent forever editing this and still don’t love it. Is there some sort of magical lighting that makes taking indoor photos possible in the dead of winter without them always looking dreadful? I hate our kitchen lights and would be happy to replace them.

The kids went back to school today, and I’m sad about it because there’s never quite enough time for all of the magic I’d like to create together. Yesterday though, we took them an hour out of town to their favorite indoor play place. Naturally it took ages to get everyone ready and moving towards the door, and when Jude refused to attempt to put on his socks without help we threatened to leave him behind. In a beautiful act of love that I sometimes forget they’re capable of (when I’m dwelling on fights and snipping at one another) his siblings immediately came to his rescue; Unwilling to leave him behind, they put his socks on themselves while he sniveled and pulled himself out of his bad mood. I reminded myself to pay more attention to these beautiful acts of love and stay focused on the fact that we have some pretty wonderful kids.

The Nugget couch was such a huge kids/parents Christmas win this year. A piece of furniture that’s totally theirs to jump on and build forts with (in the hope that they’ll leave the other ones alone)? Yes please. They use it constantly. Right now they’re all watching a movie on it. Last night I snagged it to sprawl out and read a book after they went to bed. Not sponsored, just an honest plug for a good purchase.

Just today a package arrived in the mail, and K told me that it was Viv’s belated Christmas gift for me. She’d told Mama K that she wanted to get me a heart pillow, and was unwavering in her decision. After much local searching they found one on Etsy, and when asked if she wanted to get a large or small one she replied, “Let’s get the bigger one for Mama D because I love her so much.” I could not love this gift more ❤️ This sweet child is so full of life and love and humor. A girl who suddenly wears jeans and hoodies and flannel shirts (but naturally wore a princess dress and tiara to Frozen 2 tonight). A kid who worried aloud that she might not make Santa’s “nice” list, and when told that Santa understands that no one is perfect and everyone makes a bad decision sometimes replied, “but I hit THREE people today!” A responsible kid who keeps her brothers in line, with dramatic flair for days. I’m so glad we belong to each other.

Into the woods...that second shot was before he fell in. It was days ago and his boots have only just dried out. You might think he’d learned but he did the same thing the very next day (in a dry pair of boots). It’s ok though, because this kind of risk taking is the very best kind. I hope they always walk across fallen logs and hop rocks on a freezing cold stream.

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