I think that this is week four of school but I’m not entirely sure. Everything is tough to juggle right now. Today I was in the middle of a work meeting when a friend came to pick Vivi up for an outdoor play date and I realized I had no idea where she was. I excused myself so that I could yell her name from the front yard like a crazy person and eventually realized that Kristin told her she could go to the playground. Kristin then had to leave her work meeting to go to the playground to find her. A few minutes later I heard Jonah’s therapist say (as Jonah carried the laptop through the house), “Do you think you could find somewhere quiet for us to talk?” so I excused myself from my meeting again to suggest a new location. When I returned to the meeting a colleague asked me, “so where’s Jude?” and I had to admit that I had no idea. They’re raising themselves, honestly.
So for my own sanity, because reflecting on good things is grounding, I’m returning to Five Things Right Now.
Wow, when I counted weeks just now I was sort of taken aback. It’s hard to believe it’s been nine weeks since this all began.
Kristin told me this evening that I’ve been surprisingly calm. So many people are falling apart in their own unique ways, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do right now, but I’m kind of settling in and somehow this whole crisis seems to have removed or minimized many of the things that cause me stress in a normal world. I’m also incredibly lucky to have access to emergency FMLA from 9:00-11:00 each morning, and that has made a tremendously positive impact. This week I feel like I’m in a period of focusing on the wins rather than the struggles. So here they are: Five things right now.
The other day my sister sent me a belated birthday gift, a book called Moon Lists: Questions and Rituals for Self-Reflection. It’s basically a thoughtfully guided journal, which seems like something that I would take to immediately. I love clear instructions, parameters, boundaries, frameworks; that’s where I thrive. It’s also just the right amount of woo-woo to match my sensibilities. But as I flipped through it I had some big feelings that made me feel like maybe it wasn’t for me. There was just enough ambiguity to leave me unsure of the “right” way to proceed (I know, I know, but it’s a thing for me). On top of that, the book provides examples for a variety of the pages/prompts, and the examples are painfully and intimidatingly highbrow. I’ll give you an example: Continue reading →